A good host creates a sense of safety in their house. Guests
should feel that their presence will not become a regrettable incident.
There are some rules that I feel we all need to keep in mind.
Respect privacy:
The guests are all mixing and getting along well when one
distraught looking young lady approaches you. She wants to know if you
have anything to help her diarrhea. You don’t. Thinking that the
need outweighs conventional manners, you loudly ask the assembled guests if
anyone has something helpful she could use. The young lady bursts into
tears and flees your party, all the while screaming curses over her shoulder at
you. “I was only trying to help,” you stammer as guest after guest glaringly
takes their leave.
Any personal information you know about a student should be
considered private. Yes, there may be times when sharing that information
would help others understand the student. Other students may want to show
their support if they knew what the student is going through. Be that as
it may, it is not your place to make this decision. You need to check
with the student involved and make sure they understand what information you
would like them to share and obtain their permission.
Be consistent:
At the start of the party, you announced that people should help
themselves to the food. Worried that there won’t be enough cheese balls,
you glare at everyone who takes more of them than you think they should.
Puzzled looks are cast at you as guests wonder what is wrong and why cheese
balls seem to be so important to you.
In hosting an online class, you need to make sure that the rules
are clearly stated at the beginning of the class and that you stick to the
rules. Your expectations need to be known before students step into an
area you consider off-limits. If you feel things are going a different
direction than you wanted it to, be careful how you change the direction.
It is also your job to continuously monitor the conversations between students
to ensure that no one is breaking the rules or causing others discomfort.
Be sensitive to the feelings of your students and let them know if something
they do may be hurtful to another. Often it is not an intentional act and
your ability to quickly step in can smooth over what could have been a painful
event.
Discuss ownership:
One of your guests asks how you hung a large potted plant from the
ceiling without it appearing to have any support. Flattered, you explain
in detail the mechanism you invented to do so. Several months later, you
find out that this same guest took credit for your idea on a local radio show
about helpful hints and won money for it. Somehow, you don’t feel
“flattered” anymore.
Similarly, there may be a question of ownership when students
share ideas. This needs to be discussed and clearly understood by all
before the class begins sharing. No one should feel they were taken
advantage of later.
